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[fishpatrol]

How applegeuse wins internet!arguments:

‪‪me‬: YOU PICK
YOU PICK YOU PICK
I TAG YOU
‪applegeuse:‬ I CAN'T PICK
YOU CAN'T TAG ME
‪me‬: I CAN
‪applegeuse‬: I DODGE THAT BULLET
‪me‬: I'M OLDER
‪applegeuse‬: I'M BIGGER
‪me‬: SIZE DOESN'T MATTER ON THE INTERNET
BECAUSE YOU LIVE IN MY MACBOOK
‪applegeuse‬: OH YEAH? AGE DOESN'T MATTER EITHER. EVEN 14 YR OLD HAVE MACBOOKS.
‪me‬: if i can't pull the age card and you can't pull the size card
then we will have to rock/paper/scissors/lizard/spock for it
I CHOOSE LIZARD
‪applegeuse‬: if you choose lizard, i choose to pull your lizard tail off.
‪me‬: what. that is not an option. D:

(this story ends with me being ~self-sacrificial)

Also, she gave me questions for the Seven Questions meme that I totally forgot to do \o\

[Everyone and their monkey's uncle have already done the meme, but what the heck ever:

Comment to this post (and say, "SAM IS A FANCY LADY"), and I will list seven things I want you to talk about. They might make sense or they might be totally random. Then post that list, with your commentary, to your journal. Other people can get lists from you, and the meme merrily perpetuates itself.]

1. If you could only eat one vegetable for the rest of your life, what would it be? Also, you can’t cook it. You have to eat it raw.

WHAT EVEN. I CHOOSE...CARROTS. (do tomatoes count as vegetables? because I'd choose tomatoes)

2. M-F-K: buttheat!Jensen, woobie!Jensen, mpreg!Jensen.

M: buttheat!Jensen, F: woobie!Jensen, K: mpreg!Jensen. (No context or explanations will be given for my choices. /o\)

3. If you could live in any style house, in any location, in any country, where would you want to live and why?

I would like to live in a cozy cabin in the woods, next to a lake! With internet! Or a cozy cottage by the ocean! With internet! There would be lots of pillows in this cabin/cottage, so that I can build a pillow fort. Also, I want an alcove by a big window, where I can curl up with my huge collection of pillows. \o/

4. What’s something you felt extremely resentful about as a child?

Harriet the Spy always had awesome tomato sandwiches. When I brought tomato sandwiches to school for lunch, they were always soggy. >:( I was very resentful of Harriet's Perfect Tomato Sandwiches.

5. If you had to repeat one day over and over again (a la Mystery Spot), what kind of obstacle would you face and what lesson would you have to learn?

Well, I would probably learn that PROCRASTINATION IS BAD. But if I had a repeating day, perhaps I would actually get some work done. :> The downside of the situation is, I'd probably lose my notes at the end of each day, and would have to re-do everything again by memory. That would be quite dreadful~

6. Jensen decides to do sexy photo shoot, and you get to direct it. Let’s pretend you’re taking three photos. What would you have him wear/how would you have him pose? (He can’t be naked.)

OH, THE OPTIONS~ LET'S START WITH THESE (wouldn't it be nice to see current!Jensen in these get-ups and poses? ;)):
one
two
three

7. Describe your perfect J2 AU setup in the most ideal fic you can imagine. (Or at least, something you’ve been currently craving.)

Hmm...all I really want is a lot of epic pining. I REALLY LIKE PINING, OKAY. Oh, or a J2 retelling of the entire Macdonald Hall series, where Jared and Jensen are roommates at an all-boys boarding school, where Kripke is the long-suffering headmaster, and they get up to all sorts of crazy shenanigans with the rest of the CWRPF gang, and Miss Gamble's Finishing School For Girls is right across the street, AND ALL SORTS OF HIJINKS ENSUE.


In other news, I want to get sorted at Pottermore but I don't want to go through all of the chapters. \o\~~~

In other HP-related news, I've been listening to this podcast* -- it is ridiculous and probably kind of self-indulgent on the author's part, but it's ever so entertaining and addictive!
*-at first I thought to myself, "This is an audio recording of a fanfiction! It is a podfic!" But! as I listened to more and more of it, I realized that it was not, in fact, podfic. I get the impression that the reader performs more similarly to an audiobook reader than a podfic reader. And the fanfic is a "fanfic" insofar as it's a written transformative work based off of JK Rowling's books, but it's more of a re-write of HP:PS with Harry being a clever snothead and pointing out all the flaws of the wizarding world and magic (it is funnier and more entertaining than I make it out to be, I swear!) than a typical fanfiction (there is, however, a brief mention of H/D mpreg~).

Comments

[cantarina]

SIZE DOESN'T MATTER ON THE INTERNET
BECAUSE YOU LIVE IN MY MACBOOK
That is so endearingly you. BEST

It's not so bad! You only need to get to Chapter 7 and the wand bit is actually pretty fun <3 COME ON, GET SORTED, WE CAN START OUR OWN H/D RIVALRY (now with less mpreg)

Also: SAM IS A FANCY LADY

[fishpatrol]

You also live in my Macbook. Except when you come out for walkies~

You got sorted into Gryffindor? (I can never remember where/when you get sorted into 'puff vs. 'dor)

1. PILLOW FORT VS. BLANKET FORT: PICK ONE (note: you cannot combine them because that would ruin the ~integrity of both types forts)

2. M-F-K: Harriet "Harry" Dresden, Anna Milton, Ronon Dex

3. Oh noes! You're stranded on a desert island! You have one Community character with you: who is it?

4. You're still stuck on the desert island because, chances are, which ever character you're stuck with can't build you guys a boat to get off the island. But! You get to pick one podfic to keep you company. Which podfic would you pick?

5. It's your lucky day! You get to switch lives with a fictional character for a whole day. Who do you pick?

6. Oh, hooray, you've won a million dollars! What are you going to do with it?

7. Would you rather be bitten by a werewolf, a vampire, or a zombie?

[heard_the_owl]

oh. my. GOD!!!!!!
I HAVE ALL OF THE EMBARRASSMENT FOR YOUNG JENSEN IN THAT LAST PHOTO SET. THIS DESERVES THE HASHTAG OF cherie_morte #JENSENACKLESAGENTISNOTAGOODPERSON

And you can totally fast forward all the chapters until you buy your school supplies. Then you need to get those and your wand before you can fast forward again until you get to the sorting. (I pretend-sorted Ezri after going through the game myself. She's Slytherin. Which is very fitting for my little bitch BABY GIRL WHO IS MY PRECIOUS AND NOT AT ALL A MEANIE.

ALSO, APPLEGEUSE'S ARGUMENTS ARE INVALID BASED ON THE FACTS LAID OUT BY THE CODE OF IDON'TWANNA.

And tomato sandwiches are my FAVORITE! \0/

[applegeuse.livejournal.com]

MY ARGUMENTS ARE STUNNING EXAMPLES OF VALIDITY WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

[fishpatrol]

XDDDD (so many interesting photos come up when I google "twink Jensen" ;;;;;)

Can I skip those chapters some how? I haven't yet figured out which buttons to click in order to progress to the next chapter. ^___^;; (hee, are you a Slytherin also? Does Ezri take after her mommy? ;))

I WONDER WHAT SHE WOULD'VE DONE IF I'D CHOSEN SPOCK RATHER THAN LIZARD D:

How do you keep them from getting soggy during transport! I suppose I should've kept the tomato slices in a separate baggie from the toast... \o\

[scintilla10.livejournal.com]

Ahahahaha I am very amused that your greatest ever J2AU would be Macdonald Hall. :D :D YOU ARE THE BEST AND THE CUTEST.

ALSO: ohhhh man, can I come live with you in your cabin??

[fishpatrol]

I think we've had this discussion before! And you brought up A Semester in the Life of a Garbage Bag!J2(+Danneel), and then I brought up Don't Care High!J2. WHY DON'T THESE FICS EXIST YET. \O\ (we need to ~inception the entire fandom into reading GK's books)

YES. But you have to BYOP (that is, Bring Your Own Pillows).

[applegeuse.livejournal.com]

I should put your lizard tail on a spike right in front of the shrubbery, as a reminder.

1. You may pick tomatoes. They count, even if they are gross (as are carrots, so you really have a lose/lose situation here). I realized when writing this question that the only vegetables I voluntarily eat raw are lettuce and celery.

6. I VETO THIS ANSWER. YOU HAVE NOT COME UP WITH ANY NEW AND INVENTIVE SEXY SITUATIONS IN WHICH TO PUT JENSEN. YOU ARE AN AWKWAD-TWINKY-SITUATION RECYCLER. (though, I totally thought #2 was relatively recent! /o\)

7. I should have anticipated this answer. XD

[fishpatrol]

Y U SO MEEN D: WHAT DID MY LIZARD EVER DO TO YOU (also, don't go near the shrubbery! unless you are bringing me cake and cookies)

1. but lettuce and celery have no nutrients! Tomatoes and carrots are chock-full of yummy goodness~

6. WHAT EVER. DON'T PRETEND YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE JENSEN IN THOSE GET-UPS (I think #2 might be recent-ish? BUT YOU SAID I GET TO BE THE PHOTOGRAPHER. SO I WANT TO SEE HIM LIVE AND IN ~ACTION IN THAT GET-UP. :>)

[applegeuse.livejournal.com]

1. That's probably why they are the only ones I eat raw. All others must be cooked until the nutrients are gone.

6. BUT I CAN SEE JENSEN IN THOSE GET UPS. I CAN SEE TWINK!JENSEN IN THEM RIGHT NOW. You should have picked things like, "Jensen dresses up fancy panties with garters." Although, okay, I will allow the things that are cowboy related because the photoshoot would take place on a ranch and he would be extremely sexy.

[fishpatrol]

YOU ARE EATING NUTRIENTLESS HUSKS.

OIC, you wanted ~creative and ~imaginative responses. OKAY, I WILL TRY AGAIN:
1) Jensen wearing Jared's clothes.
2) Jensen wearing a sheet.
3) Jensen wearing flannel kitten-playing-with-yarn!patterned PJ's.

[applegeuse.livejournal.com]

Um. #3--you are just fanservicing the heck out of me. That's wobbie!Jensen on a platter! I want to tuck him in and bring him some homemade cookies! (I will be comforting him after you have fucked him and left him on the curb after your m-f-k scenario. POOR WOOBIE JENSEN.)

[fishpatrol]

WOBBLY WOOBIE JENSEN. All Jareds are attracted to wobbly woobie Jensens (this is a scientific fact), so what you'll have, essentially, is Jared!bait. You'll have a swarm of Jareds vying for the attention of your flannel-PJs!Jensen (while eating your cookies) in no time.

[applegeuse.livejournal.com]

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D JARED!BAIT YESSSS

It will be like an amazing AU generator. HOW MANY DIFFERENT JAREDS WILL BE BAITED? Jared the window cleaner/house painter who accidently glimpses our ~sleeping ~beauty from the window will win out in the end, I think. WHO IS THAT BEAUTY ADORNED WITH FLANNEL KITTENS, he will think and fall in true love at first sight.

[fishpatrol]

Jared the window cleaner/house painter who accidently glimpses our ~sleeping ~beauty from the window will win out in the end, I think. WHO IS THAT BEAUTY ADORNED WITH FLANNEL KITTENS, he will think and fall in true love at first sight.

What a lovely scenario♥~~~ But what are you going to do with all the other Jareds! What if that mpreg-causer!Jared comes along and tries to turn your woobie!Jensen into mpregged!Jensen! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO

[applegeuse.livejournal.com]

ABSOLUTELY NO MPREGNATIONS WILL OCCUR ON MY WATCH. IMPOSSIBLE OUTCOME. I WILL DEFEND WOOBIE!JENSEN'S CHASTITY.

[silverraven.livejournal.com]

Oooh, I love tomatos and carrots! And a cabin by a lake in the woods sounds divine. Excellent answers :D (and I totally get your m-f-k answers and YES, it would be very nice to see older Jensen in those get ups. WE CLEARLY NEED TO BECOME FAMOUS PHOTOGRAPHERS AND MAKE THIS HAPPY IMMEDIATELY.)

I keep on thinking about Pottermore but never actually do anything. idk, it sounds like a lot of work.

[fishpatrol]

WE CLEARLY NEED TO BECOME FAMOUS PHOTOGRAPHERS AND MAKE THIS HAPPY IMMEDIATELY.

YES. I suspect current!Jensen might even be able to pull off the Superman crop-top (lololol, pull off).

There are so many chapters to go through before one can get to the fun things! Like getting a wand! And getting sorted!